Years to come...

From days to night...remembering one thing and only one. Sorrow, pain and suffering that only one who's involve can feel and know. Every minute of every hour of trying to forget and trying to just leave the past behind. Its as if the feeling is never ending and the pain will continue on living inside the heart and the mind behind all the sweet memories that used to bring joy and happiness in life. One could understand that people in life are only there temperory and sooner or later everything will just dissapear like those who have passed away. People through out the history have felted those feelings of pain when been left inside the world of imagination and not knowing of where about the future takes us.

The one important person in my life have been there for me day and night for almost 3 years. Comforting me when in need and help me get through my life inside my teenage years of evolving to become a man of yet, a descend guy. It was happiness all the way and nothing other than moments yet to be remembered. Yet as time pass, the word of others got through to discourage her of loving the one person that she use to love more than anybody. Words of people to make her fades out and distrust me of mostly anything. She suddenly sees me as the kid that haven't yet fully turned out to become who she wants me to be.

Suddenly everything changes in life, in a glimpse of an eye...her love becomes a pain that she try to run away from and happiness becomes a reality that i couldn't undertake. Living without her ever since has become a heartache that no doctor can cure. She makes it as just another past yet to be forgotten easily. Realizing the fact that i am not good enough for her and i don't have things that she needs to be happy anymore.

Not remembering the good times we had...not remembering the memories that should not be forgotten...not remembering of what plans we had made for ourselves...and i will fade in her heart as years to come...

DMC..F...

There is this group of people that i heard about from this girl. She told me that how wonderful and colorful this group of people are and how they always makes her laugh. I finally get to meet them when i came to their class and become apart of them. I wasn't that good of showing myself to them like how i showed myself to this one girl and it now seems i never have the chance.

I did not manage to shine in front of them and yet some of them stayed behind my back to support. I was empty when i entered and until now i am still the same guy i was.

They laugh, they smile, they cried...they mostly do everything from a to z together and they are DMC_F. Interesting enough, they entertain me not being with me but how i listened to their tales and stories.

The Blues...Chelsea FC

Everyone have their own favorite football team or as the english call it, soccer team. Its interesting how football have bring the world into one and people watch as their nation fight to become no.1. As everyone knows, the top teams that are well known in football are Barcelona, Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Real Madrid, AC Milan, Juventus, and so on...I'm not a huge fan of football but i got my own team to be proud and talk about and they are known as The Blues.
Yes, you know it...Chelsea FC is my most favorite team out of all as i admire their style of playing football and interesting strategy. For me, i have no disliking other football team but hey! its natural for one team to have its rival and for you to support one team, you must dislike another team which mine would be Manchester United. Okay..the reason why i am a fan of the blues is because i think this team i complete. They have the best defender, R.Carvalho and John Terry...they have a superd midfielder, Frank Lampard, Deco and Ballack...and also they have an excellent striker which is Didier Drogba and Anelka. Other than that, the have the 2nd best goalkeeper in the world which is Peter Cech. How more perfect could it be. Their strategy of playing is very controlling and they have fast player like Joe Cole to bring the ball around.
Strategy wise, Lampard is the man for it. He knows where to go at what time is he needed. Drogba is a bit lazy to chase the ball but Anelka always get his back for that...Subs player?? They have Kalou, Ivanovic, and Pizarro for backup. I think i make myself clear of why i like the team. So...i have no comment if you dislike it but hey! its my team alright...deal with it!!

Level Phoenix Tuah

A place where i study, i laugh, i enjoyed my life for the past 3 years. Memories that are so hard to erase and family that i will never find again. Level 3 wing 1 is my secondary home where i found a new family. They are all from different backgrounds and different attitudes but somehow or rather we lived harmoniously as a family. It has change a lot since i first entered this level and people comes and go every semester. Its hard to let those seniors of mine go but its fun seeing new faces trying to built their lives here from scratch.

Phoenix is the name given by the super duper senior of this level which i don't know myself who but this level is different than others. I have live my life one semester at Jebat, Lekir, and Lekiu and its so different as this level of mine here...they live 24/7. Its never empty and never silence. I'm finally graduating and finally moving away from this family of mine and never turn back.

Its normal to feel sad to leave a family behind and leaving this secondary home of mine would be hard. Memories are made here, i found out the true meaning of friendship here and also i know the meaning of respecting seniors and being a bully to the juniors. Even though there is junior and seniors here, none of it matters. As i said earlier, we are family and there are no different in age, seniority, or even backgrounds. We help each other when we can and we enjoy living here. To be a part of this level and to become one of them is a huge honor.

In few days time, i will be living my family behind and its sad as i thought it would be as i never knew when will i be able to see them again but life continues and maybe someday I'll come back for a laugh. Thank you family, thank you friends, thank you level Phoenix Tuah...

Hachiko

A tale of loyalty, a true love story about a dog and it's master. Hachiko. A name of a dog who have shown people the true meaning of loyalty. Hachi was found by his master at a train station where his master take him in and took care of him. Everyday after that, Hachiko would walk with his master to the train station in purpose of accompanying him. The dog then come back to the train station and wait for his master to come back home. Tragic happens and Hachiko's master didn't come back home and until that day for nine years, Hachiko would sit at the same spot at the train station and wait for his master to come back.
Hachiko tale is an inspiration to everyone and how loyal he was to his master. He became a phenomenon in Japan and movies, books, and every media is reaching their hands to get the story of this loyal dog. It is amazing how a pet can be such a good friend and love its master as much as Hachiko does and his tale will surely live for hundred years to come. The American adaptation of the Hachiko story have brought the American society and also the world to hear the tale of this wonderful and heartwarming dog. A must see movie i might say as it touch the audience's heart as how well played the actors are and also how the dog play its role as the legendary Hachiko itself.

Enough...

I've tried my best and i have gone all out for everything that i going on in my life. I'm not saying that i have given up but I'm too tired to handle all at once. I myself is not mentally healthy. I'm sorry mama, i couldn't finish my job...my diploma...its not that i don't want to is just that things happen in my life between those times that makes it all so freaking hard. I'm not as healthy as i was. I couldn't cope it all. The stress, people...its killing me softly.

I felt like i want to cry to think my life is actually this hard. I knew that when i told others about my life, they would say they too have gone through tough times. Its not the same. If only i could put most of you in my situation. Yes...others have issues too and they can cope but those issues don't come all at once and if they do...what would they feel? i don't think one can cope after everything drop down on their heads.

Tears all dried up and i feel tired nearly every minute of my life. Feel like sleeping for good. Life isn't great for me to remember but those few people and those few moments in life is what i hold on to and what i cherish so damn much. I need to live because of my family, i need to live to reverse my mistakes, i need to live to take care of someone and i need to live to actually appreciate life.

_S.I.C.K_B.O.Y_

I've been sick for the last months. I kept on coughing and its a dry cough. I have back pain that hurts like hell!! I lost 7kg in the last 2 weeks. I have a non stop runny nose. I have headache sometimes. I get tired so easily. I have problems eating and sleeping at night. My body temperature is always ups and downs, sometimes i feel cold and other times i feel so freaking hot. I sometimes have chest pain and its hard to breath as well. I sweat for no reason sometimes and i have no fever what so ever when i go to the doctors.

What kind of sickness do i have?? is it serious?? is it not?? is it a lack of vitamins? what is it!!! It freaking hurt to live my life feeling sick every single day and waking up thinking that am i still alive...I've got no clue of what medical problems i have but if someone reading this can help...pls do...cause i feel like dying every minute i'm breathing. Its hard for me to do work or even have fun or to do chores and help around. I feel so damn weak and i get tired easily that i can fall back asleep after waking up for an hour or so..huhu