Life's Loops

I feel like I'm losing my will to write anymore. Too much mental block...To dream of being a journalist, i need to write more and more and stop non sense of writing about my pitiful love story or my boring life. I need to write more on other things like entertainment, news, politics and stuff like that. It seem simple when i say it but its hard to write when things are just running through my mind right now. Brain is that simple to understand but the heart is what makes the brain lose its way.

The brain is a way we think of our way out in every situation we got ourselves into but the heart is what make us think what is right or what is wrong in each situation. It's basically what goes around comes around. It's simple..example...if we see a pregnant lady got into the same bus as us and there are no seats left, its better if we stand up and give way to them. The benefit we get is yet to come later in the day. Might not be in the shape of money or kindness from others, it might just be something new that we learn that day.

Life has its way to get out off every situation and nothing is impossible if we put our mind to it. Every loops and bumps along the way is just another small step to success. It might just be easy if we give up and forget it but at the end it will be settle but we gain nothing of it. All living things learn from mistake but the difference is that how long does it take for one person to realize it was a mistake. Some took longer than others and it's just wrong to compare your fate to others because everyone bring up their own life by themselves and how everything turn up to be is all because what we did in the past. All that is possible to do is to think about the future and work our way up the ladder of life to reach to success and satisfaction.

When we think about it, everything in life start with a first step. We are able to walk because we push ourselves and try to walk, we learn how to eat because we force ourselves to eat and we love another person because we push ourselves to love them. It does come naturally for everyone, its just how we receive it that makes it different.

The beginning of adultries...

I remember those days quite well. The day when the bird singing in the morning and the moon shine so bright at night. Those college days where life mostly evolve more around friends than family. I remembered it too well actually. Its just to bad that i need to forget most of those university years that i had. Its just time to move on and being an adult. Just make everything fades away so that life can be like it used to be when i was a kid.

Life could not have been better when i was young as there is nothing to think about and everything can be settle by my parents and siblings. The time has come for me to decide by myself how to make my life worth living.Its time to think what job can help me survive my daily payments, its time to think when can i start my own family and its time for me to be independent.

Specifically speaking, i need to start a new life. Begin a new era in my life where depending on others is not an option. Now i started to see the world by myself and starting to think like an adult, thinking about things i never have thought before and i am glad that i went through my life a little faster than others. Well, it just make it easier for my future life that i got to experience things at quite a young age. Thank you god..thank you family...thank you to all...:)

Things I Remember...

1. Having a long walk with you at the lake...
2.Waited for you under your blok everytime we go out...
3. Bringing an umbrella to you when you need it...
4. Having you comfort me and take me to the hospital when im sick...
5. Waited for you for 2 hours to have 'sahur' with you and you never woke up...
6. Hearing you sing everytime we go out...
7. Watching you eat with your mouth full...
8. Making you smile when you frown...
9.Helping you out when no one give you their hands...
10. Smiling at you even when it hurts...
11. Looking at you preparing me food...
12. Watching you laugh at my stupid jokes...
13. Being there for you to comfort you when you cry...
14. Accompany you when you're alone...
15. Buying you food when you haven't eaten yet...
16. Carrying you behind my back...
17. Looking at your eyes when you looked at mine...
18. Watch ur clumsiness while walking...
19.Remembering thing you won't remember...
20. Those time you cried for me...
21. Lastly...hearing you say 'i love you' for the last time...

You might not remember those memories when you are with me but i knew that i wouldn't even forget. You complete my life like you always do...i lose you already...and those mistakes i did...i'll regret it for the rest of my life....even if its gone past for years....

Years to come...

From days to night...remembering one thing and only one. Sorrow, pain and suffering that only one who's involve can feel and know. Every minute of every hour of trying to forget and trying to just leave the past behind. Its as if the feeling is never ending and the pain will continue on living inside the heart and the mind behind all the sweet memories that used to bring joy and happiness in life. One could understand that people in life are only there temperory and sooner or later everything will just dissapear like those who have passed away. People through out the history have felted those feelings of pain when been left inside the world of imagination and not knowing of where about the future takes us.

The one important person in my life have been there for me day and night for almost 3 years. Comforting me when in need and help me get through my life inside my teenage years of evolving to become a man of yet, a descend guy. It was happiness all the way and nothing other than moments yet to be remembered. Yet as time pass, the word of others got through to discourage her of loving the one person that she use to love more than anybody. Words of people to make her fades out and distrust me of mostly anything. She suddenly sees me as the kid that haven't yet fully turned out to become who she wants me to be.

Suddenly everything changes in life, in a glimpse of an eye...her love becomes a pain that she try to run away from and happiness becomes a reality that i couldn't undertake. Living without her ever since has become a heartache that no doctor can cure. She makes it as just another past yet to be forgotten easily. Realizing the fact that i am not good enough for her and i don't have things that she needs to be happy anymore.

Not remembering the good times we had...not remembering the memories that should not be forgotten...not remembering of what plans we had made for ourselves...and i will fade in her heart as years to come...

DMC..F...

There is this group of people that i heard about from this girl. She told me that how wonderful and colorful this group of people are and how they always makes her laugh. I finally get to meet them when i came to their class and become apart of them. I wasn't that good of showing myself to them like how i showed myself to this one girl and it now seems i never have the chance.

I did not manage to shine in front of them and yet some of them stayed behind my back to support. I was empty when i entered and until now i am still the same guy i was.

They laugh, they smile, they cried...they mostly do everything from a to z together and they are DMC_F. Interesting enough, they entertain me not being with me but how i listened to their tales and stories.

The Blues...Chelsea FC

Everyone have their own favorite football team or as the english call it, soccer team. Its interesting how football have bring the world into one and people watch as their nation fight to become no.1. As everyone knows, the top teams that are well known in football are Barcelona, Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Real Madrid, AC Milan, Juventus, and so on...I'm not a huge fan of football but i got my own team to be proud and talk about and they are known as The Blues.
Yes, you know it...Chelsea FC is my most favorite team out of all as i admire their style of playing football and interesting strategy. For me, i have no disliking other football team but hey! its natural for one team to have its rival and for you to support one team, you must dislike another team which mine would be Manchester United. Okay..the reason why i am a fan of the blues is because i think this team i complete. They have the best defender, R.Carvalho and John Terry...they have a superd midfielder, Frank Lampard, Deco and Ballack...and also they have an excellent striker which is Didier Drogba and Anelka. Other than that, the have the 2nd best goalkeeper in the world which is Peter Cech. How more perfect could it be. Their strategy of playing is very controlling and they have fast player like Joe Cole to bring the ball around.
Strategy wise, Lampard is the man for it. He knows where to go at what time is he needed. Drogba is a bit lazy to chase the ball but Anelka always get his back for that...Subs player?? They have Kalou, Ivanovic, and Pizarro for backup. I think i make myself clear of why i like the team. So...i have no comment if you dislike it but hey! its my team alright...deal with it!!

Level Phoenix Tuah

A place where i study, i laugh, i enjoyed my life for the past 3 years. Memories that are so hard to erase and family that i will never find again. Level 3 wing 1 is my secondary home where i found a new family. They are all from different backgrounds and different attitudes but somehow or rather we lived harmoniously as a family. It has change a lot since i first entered this level and people comes and go every semester. Its hard to let those seniors of mine go but its fun seeing new faces trying to built their lives here from scratch.

Phoenix is the name given by the super duper senior of this level which i don't know myself who but this level is different than others. I have live my life one semester at Jebat, Lekir, and Lekiu and its so different as this level of mine here...they live 24/7. Its never empty and never silence. I'm finally graduating and finally moving away from this family of mine and never turn back.

Its normal to feel sad to leave a family behind and leaving this secondary home of mine would be hard. Memories are made here, i found out the true meaning of friendship here and also i know the meaning of respecting seniors and being a bully to the juniors. Even though there is junior and seniors here, none of it matters. As i said earlier, we are family and there are no different in age, seniority, or even backgrounds. We help each other when we can and we enjoy living here. To be a part of this level and to become one of them is a huge honor.

In few days time, i will be living my family behind and its sad as i thought it would be as i never knew when will i be able to see them again but life continues and maybe someday I'll come back for a laugh. Thank you family, thank you friends, thank you level Phoenix Tuah...