THAT SHOULD BE ME

"That should be me holding your hands,
That should be me making you laugh,
That should be me this is so sad,
That should be me...

That should be me feeling your kiss,
That should be me buying you gifts,
This is so wrong; I can't go on till you believe that...
That should be me...."
(Justin Bieber- That Should Be Me)

I only found out about about this song around a week ago and this few lyrics up here...it means so much to me if that one person could actually understand...especially those last who sentence...hurmm just saying..i've moved on okay...lol...not 100% though...haha PEACE xP

NOW NOW NOW!!!

Life is starting to get better in my university life...starting to enjoy the littlest thing that comes around and don't care anymore bout what people say...sadly enough...it takes me this much time to realize things...hurmmm...but as usual...after one thing is solve...anotha problem arise... huhu

My family isn't in a very good condition right now and me?? i can't go back for the next month due to work...huhu i wish to go back home and just hug everyone and tell them how things can be okay...huhu...Life is a reality that is amazingly can kill you half way...meaning that you're ain't dead...but you're dead inside...

Love...
Its just the most interesting thing ever!!! i mean...i thought love is like the only thing that kept me happy but hey...don't need them...hehehe happy as a bird!!! flying free again!!! but memories still there though...and hopes...obvious la ada...hehe kalo takde nnt susah idop..hehe hurm apologize for not writing properly this time...feel like letting things out a bit..huhu hope that evryone can manage to av fun with their life and cope as much as i did...wish the best to all my friends, family, exs, and enemy...hehehe hey...they still human..they deserve the best in their life :)

Meaningful Lyrics

"Engkau yang dulu pernah ku cinta,
Namun terlanjur kau bersamanya,
Dan ku terluka oleh cintanya..."
Agnes Monica-Jera

"Masih disini menantimu,
Berharap kau akan memikirkanku,
Masih di sini menunggumu,
Menanti jawapan atas cintamu..."
Ungu-Disini Untukmu

"Ku menahan rasa luka,
Bila kau membenci aku,
Bilakah Tuhan mendengar,
Bisikan hatiku yang hancur..."
Melly Goeslow-Kekasih Terakhir

"Mungkin cintaku terlalu kuat dan menutupi,
Jiwa yang dendam akan kerasmu,
Sehingga kita bersama... mungkin"
Potret-Mungkin

"Jadi terimalah oh cintaku,
Jangan kau patahkan hatiku,
Aku mencintai kamu,
Dengarkan janjiku..."
Armada-Wanita Paling Berharga

"Aku telah lelah mengikuti semua langkah kakimu,
dan berharap bisa memilikimu,
Berbagai cara telah aku lakukan untuk hidupmu,
Hingga aku mengorbankan hidupku..."
Armada- Buka Hatimu

"A memory comes to my mind,
Everyday its the same thing,
Can i defeat it?
Can i leave it behind?
Every time i make a sound,
My head start spinning round..."
Jared Lee-Why do I Have To Choose

"Aku rasa telah ku temukan cinta sejati,
Saat aku hilang arah dan tak terkendali,
Di saatku coba bertanya di suatu sisi,
Ku yakin kau cinta mati"
The Potter's-Arti Cinta Sejati

"Dulu memang aku pernah salah,
Dan semuanya telah ku lakukan,
Namun bukan berarti hidup dan cintaku,
Tak tertuju padamu..."
Kerispatih-Kesalahan Yang Sama

"Oh, for you I would have done whatever,
and I just can't believe we ain't together,
and I wanna play it cool..the thought of losing you..."
Justin Beiber Feat Ludacris-Baby

"Mengapa cinta ini terlarang,
Saat ku yakini kaulah milikku,
Mengapa cinta kita tak bisa bersatu
Saat ku yakin tak ada cinta selain dirimu..."
The Virgin- Cinta Terlarang

"Andai engkau tahu,
Betapa penat jiwaku,
Begitu sarat bebanku,
Penuhi rasaku..."
Element- Seumur Hidupmu

Waking up...

Its time for me to realize that life need to move on and she's not for me and I'm not supposed to be with her forever...everyone keep saying "Banyak lagi bunga kat taman ko boley petik"...Its true...don't need to just hang around and wait like a goof. Our sweet time have passed and life don't stop for those sweet moments. Now i started to realize that i just need her to be around with me. Even just a friend would be much better...we can tell stories with no hard feelings at all...but its going to take time for me to adjust...but we'll be fine...and i do still love her and my only way to show her that is not by making her suffer with my messages, my speeches about the past...all i have to do to show her that i love her and care about her is to let her go...let her be free and just take care of her from the back...it's good enough for me and for her...i hope from this day forward...LIFE WILL BE MUCH BETTER...owh yea....the pic above was when i was with her..umm..semester 01!!...memories sudaa...no gossiping aite..old pix...PEACE ALL :p

IBU...

Bila seronok, aku cari....pasanganku
Bila sedih, aku cari....Mak
Bila berjaya, aku ceritakan pada....pasanganku
Bila gagal, aku ceritakan pada....Mak
Bila bahagia, aku peluk erat....pasanganku
Bila berduka, aku peluk erat....Mak
Bila nak bercuti, aku bawa....pasanganku
Bila sibuk, aku hantar anak ke rumah....Mak
Bila sambut valentine.. Aku bagi hadiah pada pasanganku
Bila sambut hari ibu...aku cuma dapat ucapkan "Selamat Hari Ibu"
Selalu.. aku ingat pasanganku
Selalu.. Mak ingat kat aku
Bila-bila... aku akan talipon pasanganku
Entah bila... aku nak talipon Mak
Selalu...aku belikan hadiah untuk pasanganku
Entah bila... aku nak belikan hadiah untuk Mak
Renungkan:
"Kalau kau sudah habis belajar dan berkerja...
bolehkah kau kirim wang untuk Mak?
Mak bukan nak banyak... lima puluh ringgit sebulan pun cukuplah".

Berderai air mata jika kita mendengarnya........

Tapi kalau Mak sudah tiada..........
MAKKKKK...RINDU MAK.... RINDU SANGAT....



Berapa ramai yang sanggup menyuapkan ibunya....
berapa ramai yang sanggup mencuci muntah ibunya....
berapa ramai yang sanggup. mengantikan lampin ibunya....
berapa ramai yang sanggup..... membersihkan najis ibunya....
berapa ramai yang sanggup....... membuang ulat dan membersihkan luka kudis ibunya....
berapa ramai yang sanggup berhenti kerja untuk menjaga ibunya....

Dan akhir sekali berapa ramai yang sembahyang JENAZAH ibunya....

RENUNGKANLAH KEMBALI MASA-MASA SEORANG IBU MELUANGKAN MASANYA UNTUK MEMBAHAGIAKAN SEORANG ANAK...

IF ONLY "SHE" KNEW...

All my life i have never chased after one person for the reason of wanting to take care of them...and now i do that to this one girl who now just would not understand what i am trying to tell her...Its not that i want her to be with me again for the sake of the fun we had for the two years back..its not the real reason..i try to tell her the real reason but she just would not let me finish my sentence...my say of things...How am i supposed to tell her that it is my responsibility for whatever she does and whatever can happen to her...she just don't understand at all...

Why do girls are such stubborn human beings that just can't listen to what we men trying to tell them...well...at least some men have the curtosy to take care of them...only some men!!! don't you understand that!!! other guys would think..the hell with it...she's over...she's not with me now...why do i give a F**k bout her...but i am not like that ***...I'm not...I care about you coz of what i did and it is totally my responsibility...come on....to think about it...you rejected me for like hundreds of times...but i kept going to you...does that means that i don't understand what you're trying to say to me?? NO!!! i do understand that you want me to just die and leave you alone...right?? hmmm if only you understand...what i feel after what have happen...if only you knew how difficult it is to stay alive every single day thinking that i am responsible for one person's life...if only you knew how it feels like hiding all your faults and pretending like you never did those things...if only you knew how ashamed i was when you embarresed me infront of so many people...if only i could tell others my side of the story...if only i could...

You can go ahead and tell stories about me to all those friends of yours...but me?? i can't even open my mouth of telling what happen in our "private life"...i can't tell your flaws to others and i just can't bear listening to others chit chatting about you...everything now happen to be a if...it seems like nothing could be done anymore...its seems that my effort of protecting you have ran off and i am getting tired of trying to sent you one message...just one...hmmm...now i could only hope and pray...and everything is under your hand...

I might live my life with misery of thinking of that everyday and just think about what if this or what if that happened...nothing you can do anymore...you made your point...losing you...hmm...never thought that it could happen...but hey...life do move on...and hope that when someday you turn back and look back at you memories...you can start to think why i do what i did all this time...wasting my time for you when i can just have a better life without you...every single thing i did when i am with you..it all planned out...just trying to sent you one little memo...but for two years...the memo never did arrive...and from now till i die...i can just think of " IF ONLY SHE KNEW..."

THE MONTH OF MARCH

New month have began today and i left with only about a month plus until i graduate diploma...
hurmmm wonder whats life going to be like after diploma..can't wait to finished up but sad to leave friends behind...no matter what..time can't be stop and memories can still make me remembers who they are...

the next months or so going to be the biggest struggle so far in my uitm life...work are getting loads up...fuh2....pnat seyh...anywho...life seems to get a bit better now...except for one thing..and only i can know that...heee..oklah...got ta go...catch up later..and owh yea...WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF MARCH!!! MAY HELL DROPS ON YOU!!! LOL jokes2!!! peace yea...xD